Humor


A man went into a pet store to buy a parrot. He saw three parrots sitting together on a large perch.
He looked at the parrot on the end. "How much is this one?" he asked the owner.
"$500.00 " was the answer.
"How come so much? What can he do?"
"He knows how to run a computer."
The man then looked at the middle parrot. "How much for him?"
"$1,000.00. "
"Twice as much? Just what can he do?
"He can operate a UNIX system," said the owner.
The man, almost afraid to ask, looked at the third parrot and said "And how much is this one?"
"$2,000.00," said the owner.
"What???? And just what does he do?"
"Nothing apparently. All I know is the other two parrots call him "Boss."



Two birds sitting on a telephone line. one said to the other ' do you cheat" she said :no' but i"ll hold still while you do" ,o.,o.,o. bill
Submitted by William Baureis


So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!"
But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt.
After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"
Submitted by Todd Hamm



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